picture from Joanne Johnson |
It’s inevitable that during the course of
your child’s academic career, they will encounter educators that they don’t get
along with. Whether the conflict arises from a misunderstanding or a
personality clash, it’s important that the situation be dealt with in a
constructive and positive way. Teachers are professionals who are trained to
treat students with dignity and respect and students must learn to do the same.
Talk
about It
Students will often make sweeping
statements like: “The teacher hates me.” You need to understand exactly what
this means. Ask your child to explain why they think this and give examples of
situations in which the teacher has behaved in a way that would make them feel
that way. Ensure that they are not misunderstanding the situation or that they
aren’t reacting negatively to being disciplined.
Role
Play
One of the best ways to work through a
difficult situation is to allow your student to deal with it themselves. Over
the course of their lives, they will encounter managers, neighbors and people
that they don’t get along with. Learning to navigate these difficult
relationships is a fundamental tenant of happiness.
Start by discussing ways in which the
student can deal with situations that make them uncomfortable. Role play
situations that may occur in the classroom and discuss different ways of
dealing with these events so that they feel prepared and confident. Allowing
them to deal with the situation can be a constructive learning experience.
Be
Diplomatic
If the problem persists and you feel like
you need to take action, don’t be aggressive or angry. Remember that your child
will have to deal with the teacher and try to smooth over the situation rather
than inflaming it.
Start by explaining the way your child
feels and then ask the teacher if they have any idea why your child feels that
way. Really listen to their side of the story. You should say things like:
“Jane is upset and I need to understand why she feels this way.” Assume that it
is a misunderstanding and don’t make teachers feel like they are under attack.
The ideal situation here is to promote understanding and cooperation.
Last
Resort
If you feel that the teacher is not
responding well to your child or if the situation deteriorates and your child’s
academic performance suffers, it may be time to take a trip to the principal’s
office. Remember to do so when you are cool, calm and collected. Explain the
situation clearly and provide constructive suggestions which can lead to
resolution. Perhaps moving the student to a different class may be an option.
Be patient and persistent. Having a positive experience at school is essential
in maintaining your child’s constructive attitude to education and academic
performance. Be an agent for resolution and positive change to turn a negative
experience for your child into a positive learning opportunity on how to
navigate relationships with authority figures.
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